Kids are mean. We hear people say that quite frequently. Personally, we don’t believe it. Kids aren’t mean. They don’t know what to do when they’re uncomfortable. They don’t have the skills and tools to handle awkward, messy social situations. Do we as adults?
In supporting the inclusion of ALL students in general education classrooms, this issue is raised. “How can we put this student who has this label and these ways of being in the world in a class with same age ‘typically developing’ peers”.
Time and time again, we have seen it be a beautiful, eye-opening and growing experience for all involved, adults and students alike when three things are in place.
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The opportunity to ask any questions throughout the year
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Honest, direct answers
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The opportunity to be a part of the problem-solving process
What do we mean by this? Kids ask things like “why do they have to do two math problems and I have to do four?” or “why does ____ walk around the room while I’m sitting?”
Unfortunately, many adults answer… “that’s none of your business”. Then, this student doesn’t know the real answer, so they make one up. And before you know it, there are rumors and mean or hurtful words.
What if instead we said things like:
“Everyone’s brain works differently. Their brain does best with two and yours does best with four”.
“Some people learn best when they move. Some people learn best when they sit. Which is true for you?”
We’re not talking about revealing confidential information about a student. But we are talking about speaking truths about how people learn and what people need. Fair doesn’t mean everyone does/has/gets the same thing. Rather, it means everyone gets what they need.
Let’s talk about #3. That looks something like… if some people work best by moving and some work best by sitting, what can we do to make that work for everyone? It is AMAZING to witness students engaged in problem-solving and collaborating to come up with solutions. We have found that even in the most challenging of situations, the class comes up with better ideas than the adults do. They see things we don’t, they brainstorm kid-friendly solutions.
This kind of communication is scary for some teachers. It’s helpful when you’re already doing regular community building and class meetings. Check out our Community Builders for some ready-to-go lessons.